


what we need is what we once had (i want more)

by dontyoujojime



Series: azure skies [2]
Category: Kengan Omega, ケンガンアシュラ | Kengan Ashura (Anime), ケンガンアシュラ | Kengan Ashura (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Introspection, It somehow gets better, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontyoujojime/pseuds/dontyoujojime
Summary: Liu visits Naidan's grave, a year after his death.Before, he knew nothing. Now, the sky is the limit.
Relationships: Backround Gaoh Ryuki/Narushima Koga, Naidan Mönkhbat/Liu Dongcheng
Series: azure skies [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028115
Kudos: 9





	what we need is what we once had (i want more)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So. Today's chapter. It happened. 
> 
> This is just an outlet, I guess. 
> 
> I recommend listening to Kaleo's I want more. I was inspired by that song and listened to it on repeat while writing this. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Spring finds Liu Dongcheng in front of a lone grave, up in the mountains and near the sky. There, the air feels clearer, and the wind flows producing chime-like sounds, blowing softly through the hills. With nature all around him Liu almost feels like home. Naidan and him had visited that place many times in the past, sometimes to train, then just to hang out. 

Naidan said that place set him at ease, and brought him a sense of peace he couldn't find anywhere else. 

It was only fitting for him to be buried there. The Hawk of Ordos was a long way from home, but Liu could only smile at that. He didn't think Naidan ever truly wished to came back. 

Now that he knew about the Worm, he understood why. Naidan's reasons would forever be a mystery to him -to everybody-, but if there was one thing Liu understood, it was the need to get away. 

Away from the madness, from the infiltration and their all-consuming purpose. 

Once, in what feels like eons ago, Dongcheng himself had used such a coping mechanism. To this day, it still baffled him how he missed all the warning signs, how he believed in everything Naidan told him, without ever listening to his instincts. 

For months after Naidan's death, he berated himself for it, thinking that maybe, if he had realized what was going on, he could somehow have changed what happened. Desperation and grief soon turned into self-hate and rage, and at times it feel too much like that night at the stadium, when he nearly lost himself. 

It had been difficult, to overcome the depression, and even worse, understand that if there was someone to blame for Naidan's death, it wasn't him. Never him. 

And not Gaoh Ryuki, either. 

That had been a nightmare to accept, to come to terms with. 

But as he was told more and more about the Worm, and as he got to know the young fighter, his perspective started to shift. 

He had been right that night when he thought that if Ryuki had died instead of Naidan, the white haired boy would have lost it. 

He had loved Naidan, but what those two had… he had never seen something like it.

It was bittersweet, knowing that Koga and Ryuki were exactly what he wished he and Naidan had been. Sometimes, on his bad days, the longing turned to envy, but those feelings he overcome, too. 

Now, more than a year later since his life came to a halt, Liu could say that he had grown used to the pain. As they say, it doesn't get better, you just learn to live with the pain, the grief, the sadness…

Liu thought that maybe Naidan would be proud of him, now that he could stand before his grave without weeping or screaming his heart out. 

Oh, how he had made his memory suffer, showing himself to his burial in such a state, blaming Naidan at times, or even himself, cursing at everybody and everything, 'till he eventually passed out. 

Those had been his worst days, even worse than the ones he spent locked away in his appartament, going without food for days at a time. He had lost so much weight… 

But, at some point, he had pulled himself together. His friends had helped him, and soon he started training again. He wasn't by any means at his best, but he got there, eventually. 

Now he was even stronger than before, with even more wins under his belt. 

Liu Dongcheng felt proud of himself, too. 

And so he takes one more look at his soulmate's grave and starts the trek home. He would miss the peace of the mountain, the brightness of the azure sky, and above all, Naidan's silent presence, like a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

But like everything, time didn't stop for anyone, and Liu had much to prepare for. 

Soon, Naidan's memory would truly be at peace. 

Liu couldn't wait. 

**Author's Note:**

> I may write a fix-it of sorts, or maybe even an AU, because in this house we don't respect cannon, at all.


End file.
